FILM: The Farewell

Lulu Wang’s The Farewell is a story not just about the distinctly Chinese way that one family faced the end of life of a beloved grandmother, but the conflicting values and sensibilities that lie in the hyphen of a Chinese-American immigrant family. As the movie opens, we are told that it is “based on an actual lie”. When the grandmother is diagnosed with late terminal cancer, the family decides it is best not to tell her, and then concocts an excuse around a hastened wedding so that the globally scattered family can all be together again, and to say their goodbyes to “Nai Nai” (Chinese for grandma) while trying not to cry or to say goodbye out loud. The situation is fraught and funny enough on its own, and Wang’s portrayal is appropriately restrained. She neither plays up comedy (though there are some funny moments), nor manipulates for tears, and doesn’t flinch from the awkward moments (like some painfully unjoyful wedding toasts). Neither does she flinch from subtitles, which only enhance the film, not only be being more authentic, but by underscoring that some characters speak English and some don’t, and how that is used at times to talk around someone in their presence. The film turns on watching this emotional charade play out, and on watching granddaughter Billi, who moved to America when she was six, struggle with the rest of her family over whether this “good lie” is a good idea. This performance is a whole new level in Awkwafina’s rising career, complemented by Diana Lin as Billy’s mother, who keeps her emotions below the surface, and Shuzhen Zhou who is a radiant Nai Nai. There is so much in this film that seems so authentic, it reminded me so much of a Chinese friend’s family whom I got to know on a trip to Asia. There are small moments in the film that are especially touching – the scene of the family visiting the grandfather’s grave; Billy looking suddenly bereft and nostalgic out of a taxi’s rear window when she recognizes a glimpse of a childhood landmark surrounded by new development that obliterated where her old neighborhood once was. And I love the film’s opening scene. Billi is on the phone with her Nai Nai, in a way that makes clear they talk often. “What’s that noise in the background? Nai Nai, where are you?” “It’s nothing, it’s just the neighbor.” (She’s in a hospital waiting room.) “It’s so cold in New York. Are you wearing a hat?” “Yes, Nai Nai.” (She’s not.) In the first few minutes, we already see the small lies that can be part of loving family relationships.